Easter Sunday

I honestly hadn't given Easter a ton of thought this year to be quit honest. Thanks to all our parents Zack was abundantly taken care of in the Easter basket department and my mom got him a super cute pin striped pant outfit for his Easter suit. Thankfully everyone pitched in so I haven't really thought to much about it.

BUT then this morning we got up to go to Church mainly because that is what we do on Sunday mornings but then as I sat in my chair listening to Jud speak my heart sank for my dad. I was sitting there thinking if only he could have just held on until Easter and heard this sermon.

Jud spoke on the hope that we get from serving a God that didn't just die and stay in a tomb but rose again. I just sat in my chair and cried because I thought what if we would have invited him to church more often or what if he would have had more faith that God would take his pain away. Oh I am just really mad because today is a day that I as a Christian should be rejoicing in all that God has done and given to us but instead I am just mad. I am mad at my dad for giving up and I am mad at myself for not talking about my faith in Jesus more to my dad. I know my dad was a Christian but I think in the midst of this last year it was hard to see Gods grace and love for my dad through all the darkness he has been through. If only we had invested more time into talking about God and his love for my dad maybe this last month would have a different outcome.

We sang this song by Chris Tomlin called God of this City


and instead of the video being about about other cities they had a slide show with Vegas in the back ground. It is so true this city is so lost compared to any other place I have lived. It is so sad. So even though I am really angry it is my prayer that God reaches people in this place so that they don't get so wrapped up in it like my dad did. I am going to pray that while I live here being a stay at home mom that God will use this really sucky situation to minister to people who need to know God. I am not sure how he will use me but I want to be open to whatever. It is a hard place to live but it is so beautiful too. I am not sure my point of this blog I guess more just to track how I am doing and to help me see where I have been and where I am going.