My birthday

So last week on Thursday I turned 30. I was really stressed all week about it. Up until my dad died turning 30 was looking very exciting to me. My friend Carrie turned 30 last year and she played it off so easily that I was looking forward to it. I had big plans for turning 30 I wanted to go dancing with my girl friends and have a huge BBQ at our new house, and just enjoy my family. Well that was the plan until tragedy struck. So needless to say I wasn't looking forward to my birthday once everything happened. I really wanted to skip the day and just move on. Well Thursday came and I woke up and by 8 I was crying so much that I couldn't get a grip. I almost called Cliff to come home from work. Then I decided ok Dee you have a choice you can either sit at home cry all day or go ut and so something productive. So that's what we did. Zack and I got up went and got coffee at our favorite coffee shop then headed to the strip for some fun at Circus Circus. I had never been there before. It is an inside amusment park. It is like being at a carnival but inside. Crazy. Zack had a blast. The following are pics of all the rides he enjoyed. He liked it but most of the time he held his hands over his ears.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We went to a 4D movie while at Circus Circus. They squirt us with water and blew wind in our face and tickled us with something around our feet.

 

This is Zack at gymnastics but I got in trouble for taking pics in the gym so I only have one. We are doing this on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

 

Last year we started the tradition that on my birthday instead of me cooking and cleaning up we just have banana splits for dinner. I know not real healthy but once a year who cares.

 

 

 

 

 

I was almost able to eat the whole bowl. Thank God my husband got me a gift certificate for my birthday because none of my clothes fit anymore:)

 

All and all turning 30 without my dad being here turned out not so horrible after all. Although the start was rough the ending wasn't so bad.

Two cups of tea and memory

This has become Zack and I's morning routine during the week. We each have a cup of tea then we play several games of memory. He is getting pretty good at it.

 

They convinced me to try the little purple bike.

 

 

 

 

By the end of the summer

I have a few goals for the summer. One of them is to teach Zack to ride a bike without training wheels. We did put a helmet on his nog after his first round of riding. He only goes about two seconds before he falls over in slow motion.

 

 

 

Easter Morning

My mom blessed Zack with a really cute outfit for Easter and this was it.

 

 

 

More family and fun

 

Mimi came and we took Zack to the park, had a night out without the kiddo's we saw the show Ka. Went to karaoke. Fun was had by all. Mimi left us on a Sunday then was back on Thursday after we found out my dad died.

 

She brought memo with her so one day before they left we took a tour of the Valley and landed at Red Rock one of my favorite places here. It was beautiful.

 

After my mom's and grandmother left my inlaws came into town and we spent St. Patty's with Brock and Dorie. Lots of tequilla was consumed and car bomsm

 

Life in the fast lane

I finally got to upload the 300+ photos that were taking from February to April. I had big plans to blog about each person that came to see us but obviously now that is not going to happen so instead I am calling this life in the fast lane and it will bits and pieces from each visit.

 

Peter came with a friend of his and their family. They introduced us to a fabulous resturant that we have now taken everyone that visits us to this place. Oh those stupid stuffed mushrooms I dream about them. In this picture Peter is licking the toes to this thing because rubbing them supposedly gives you good luck but in Peters mind maybe licking gives you extra good luck.

 

This was at FAO toy store Peter is a music genius so playing anything on this giant piano was no big deal for him. It was awesome.

 

Right before Peter came we headed to Bullhead City to buy Cliff a new blazer it is beautiful there.

 

We cleaned out our play room and made a book nook for the boy and we have read a lot more books now thanks to that.

I had no idea

So one thing I have learned over this last two months of almost none stop company is that Zack had a way of entertaining himself if he is not being paid attention too. One of the mornings Cheryl was here all the sudden I realized Zack was being very quiet. So I headed up stairs and this is how I found him............

 

 

 

At least he knew to get in the tub and to take off his clothes to play in the shaving cream. It could have been a lot worse.

Easter Sunday

I honestly hadn't given Easter a ton of thought this year to be quit honest. Thanks to all our parents Zack was abundantly taken care of in the Easter basket department and my mom got him a super cute pin striped pant outfit for his Easter suit. Thankfully everyone pitched in so I haven't really thought to much about it.

BUT then this morning we got up to go to Church mainly because that is what we do on Sunday mornings but then as I sat in my chair listening to Jud speak my heart sank for my dad. I was sitting there thinking if only he could have just held on until Easter and heard this sermon.

Jud spoke on the hope that we get from serving a God that didn't just die and stay in a tomb but rose again. I just sat in my chair and cried because I thought what if we would have invited him to church more often or what if he would have had more faith that God would take his pain away. Oh I am just really mad because today is a day that I as a Christian should be rejoicing in all that God has done and given to us but instead I am just mad. I am mad at my dad for giving up and I am mad at myself for not talking about my faith in Jesus more to my dad. I know my dad was a Christian but I think in the midst of this last year it was hard to see Gods grace and love for my dad through all the darkness he has been through. If only we had invested more time into talking about God and his love for my dad maybe this last month would have a different outcome.

We sang this song by Chris Tomlin called God of this City


and instead of the video being about about other cities they had a slide show with Vegas in the back ground. It is so true this city is so lost compared to any other place I have lived. It is so sad. So even though I am really angry it is my prayer that God reaches people in this place so that they don't get so wrapped up in it like my dad did. I am going to pray that while I live here being a stay at home mom that God will use this really sucky situation to minister to people who need to know God. I am not sure how he will use me but I want to be open to whatever. It is a hard place to live but it is so beautiful too. I am not sure my point of this blog I guess more just to track how I am doing and to help me see where I have been and where I am going.

One of my many projects

There are so many things that need to be done at my house. That I am in this state of being totally overwhelmed. I am not sure what I would have done had both my moms, grandmother, and in laws not come to help me right after my dad died. We combined two house holds in a matter of like two weeks. It has been insane. There are boxes to be gone through, garage sale stuff to be sold and that is not to mention just the every day stuff that I have totally neglected. But today has been very successful.

After my father died a friend asked me what would I thought would most honor my family and my dad. Flowers or plants or donate money somewhere. I was not real sure at the time so I decided that a plant would be great. I have never really been into plants but my dad and my grandfather were big into the whole green house, vegetables growing, flower thing. So since I am after all a Madison I decided that my goal was to keep all the lovely plants we got at the funeral alive and well. So today the boy and I made a trip to Wally World and found several pots and potting soil and this is what we came up with.

 

 

These are old tin containers that I got while on a trip with my mother and father in law many years ago in Buffalo. I was never real sure what they were going to be used for but this morning while in the shower it clicked. I bought a couple plastic pots that fit perfectly into the bottom of these. They have their own water catch so there won't be anymore rusting in the buckets. It was perfect.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is the ledge at the entry way to our Condo. It is perfect for my antique kitchen gadgets that my mother in law gave me straight out of her own kitchen. She loves me what can I say:)

 

Miracles

When I got to Carlsabad and started making plans for my dads funeral the pastor said that I should think about whether or not I wanted to say something. I decided to write the following down and then told him that I would attempt to speak if I could during the Eulogy part. I wanted to share it those of you who were not able to make it to the funeral.

Thank you all for coming. I knew I wanted to say something to yall but knew I could not just stand up here and talk without crying. So I decided to write my thoughts down, read them word for word and not make eye contact with yall. So here goes.....

I want to share the many miracles Gos has given to my family over the last year. Last March on the 1th Cliff and I gathered our friends and family in Buffalo to celebrate the adoption of our little miracle baby Zack.

All our parents came including my dad and Carla. The night before they were to arrive my dad called to let us know that Carla wasn't feeling well and they may not be able to make it. Miracle #1 her Dr. released her to come to Buffalo.

So they got to Buffalo with no immediate plans. They came to the house and started making to find a hotel for the night. They online and booked they first hotel they came upon in Niagara Falls, Canada. That night he called and said you will never believe this room we got it has the best view. You guys should come to tomorrow to see this place. now at this point i have lived in Buffalo seven years, gone to Niagara Falls a ton of times but never to the hotels. So I thought what's the big deal. So the next day we loaded up headed to the falls to see the hotel he was talking about and holy crap it is the best one on the strip. Then he tells us that when they got there to check in and he told the people why they were in town, for the adoption of his grandson, they asked him if it was ok that they up grade his room. Of course he instantly bonded with the people as only my dad could do. So they got their keys and headed to the elevator and when they got on the elevator operator asked what floor and room and my told him and they guy said wow well I don't know who you are but this room is reserved for famous people.

Don't you know my dad beaming ear to ear once he heard that. He then made arrangements to show off his hotel and the room. We all reaped the benefits of his out going personality that cold March day in Buffalo. Because we had the most spectacular view of the falls, we were inside, warm, and cozy with our coffee.

That was miracle #2 A the time we didn't know this would be his last vacation with Carla and a week later she was diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 cancer. We didn't know but God did.


A few days later I begrudgingly dragged my feet to the mall with my family, Carla and my dad to have our pictures taken. Miracle #3. These are the pictures that are up here in front. Thank you Lord Carla had us do that it would be our only opportunity for family pictures. We didn't know but God did.

Several days after they returned to Vegas Carla and my dad got the word she has pancreatic cancer and I got out to fly out to Vegas and spend ten day with them. After I got home I felt God nudging me to move to Vegas and two months or maybe even less Cliff was offered two jobs ever the phone. Miracle #4...

In November my dad and I had the chance to go on a road trip to Las Cruces to celebrate my best friend from high schools birthday and my dad spent the weekend with us. These were girls that practically lived at our house when we were young. He got to meet their families and have 20 hours of quality time with me in the care. Priceless Miracle #5.


Miracle #6 and the final thing I will share is this past Christmas Morning. I knew spending Christmas with my dad this year was a must so I orchestrated this plan for us all to come here to Carlsbad. Can I tell you it was the biggest miracle of all. At one point I looked around the room and there was peace amongst every one of my family members. My brothers and their families, my Liz mom, my dad. Cliff and I and Zack were together. For me personally it was a blissful moment. We has breakfast together, played and wrestled with the kids. My dad chilled with my brothers. It was fabulous.

I wanted to share with you these Six huge miracles because to be honest this year has SUCKED on a lot of levels but we serve a God that crates miracles everyday and we can get really caught up in the whys of the world and miss out on what God has given us. I am so sad that my dad is gone. I don't understand why this happened but instead of asking questions I can't get the answers to this side of heaven I am going to praise God for the time and memories of my dad that were created over this last year

Slow Fade

This was a song that just kept coming to mind during the week I was in Carlsbad preparing for the funeral. It is so true our lives never crumble in a day it is a slow fade.